How to Improve Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

lack of sexual intimacyIntimacy is important for the success of any long-term relationship, especially marriage. And sexual intimacy should be given special attention if you want your marriage to last for a lifetime. Improvement in sexual intimacy will make your relationship better and you will find yourself and your partner to be much happier and much relaxed, something that is necessary for the success of your marriage.

However, sexual intimacy is not just about sexual intercourse. If your effort at getting intimate with your spouse ends up in sex, then great! Yet, it does not always have to end up in sex. Your focus should be on increasing the closeness that you feel with your partner and not on having sex.

Here are a few tips that can help you improve your sexual intimacy in marriage.

Spend Quality Time Together

Work, kids, everyday life can all take a toll on your relationship. For the success of any marriage, it is necessary that you spend some quality time together. Watching TV with your spouse does not count as quality time. This is time that you spend talking about your joys, your likes, and your dislikes. Things that bothered you or things that made you feel glad.

Even if you spend 15 minutes on a daily basis talking to each other minus the kids and everything else, your sexual life is bound to improve.

Also make sure to take occasional holidays, if possible with only your spouse. It can do wonders for your relationship as well as your sexual intimacy.

Resolve Conflicts

Unresolved conflicts are marriage breakers and they will only make you and your spouse want to avoid any kind of sexual activity with each other. These can make you drift apart and push you towards infidelity in your marriage. A surefire way to a divorce, infidelity is often the end of a relationship.

So, make sure to resolve any conflicts that you may have. It will help in increasing the closeness that you feel with your partner leading to a better sex life. If you think that your relationship needs outside help, get help from a marital therapist. It may be the best thing that you may do for your marriage.

Talk About Sex

Most people feel shy to talk about sex with their spouse. However, just talking to them can really open the channels of communication and you can both explore things that you really like while having sex. You can talk about your sexual fantasies and about things that both of you may want to try. What you like and what you don't like sexually.

Just open communication with your spouse. Maybe they are also willing to talk about sex but just feeling as shy as you are!

Be Open to Experimentation

After 20 years of marriage and doing the same things sexually may just lead to boredom for you and your partner. So, try something new. Focus on foreplay. Use massage. Spend an hour in the hot tub. Try new sexual positions. Try a new place instead of the bedroom. Read erotic literature or watch erotic movies. Get some flavored lubricants or try new arousal gels. Anything that can spice up your sex life, don't feel shy to try it.

Sexual Touch

Touch is the best way to increase sexual intimacy. Take at least an hour just exploring your partner with your hands. Just stay calm and focused on your partner. Make sure that you are not distracted at all.

Starting with a hot bath is a great way to make your partner comfortable. Soft romantic music will surely get them in the mood. Avoid using anything that has lyrics. What you need is just soft music playing in the background as you work on exploring your partner sexually.

Take time and look at your partner's body. Start with the feet and slowly move up with your eyes. Saying loving things about their eyes and lips will not only improve your mood but also theirs.

Now start by touching your partner very lightly and notice your partner's reaction as you touch them ever so lightly. Make sure that your touch is very quiet with very little pressure. You can touch using the tips of your fingers or the back of your hand. Just see what your spouse likes and keep on touching them.

If they like being touched a little firmly, try a firm touch or just keep on touching them gently. You can also slowly use your feet or legs to touch the different parts of their body. See where it takes you. You can continue doing this for as long as you and your spouse want.

Touching is a great way to increase arousal and both of you may reach orgasm just by doing this. However, orgasm is not what you should be aiming for. It's just a simple exploration of your partner's body and a great way to increase your sexual intimacy.

Get Help for Sexual Problems

If any of you is having any sexual problems, you may want to get some medical help. Lack of interest in sex, lack of arousal, inability to reach orgasm, or pain during intercourse are problems that often affect women. Men may also have problems in achieving or maintaining an erection. Underlying medical conditions may cause these problems and your doctor is the best person to diagnose these problems and suggest treatment for you.

Keep in mind that sexual intimacy is multi-faceted and not just about intercourse. So, make sure to spend quality time with each other, work at improving communication within your marriage, and try new ways to increase your sexual intimacy.

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