'My Wife Lost Interest in Sex' - What Causes Husbands to Complain About Low Sex Drive in Women over 40
Many husbands suddenly realize that after years of a healthy sex life, their wife just loses interest in sex when she touches 40. The relationship is going strong, life may be less stressful than before, and yet the sex is missing in marriage. What is it that makes women over 40 lose their sex drive?
Symptoms of Low Sex Drive in Women
While low sexual desire is something that can hit a woman at any age and most women face this problem at some point or the other during their life, the issue is much more common in those who are above the age of 40.
The major symptom of this problem is of course that a woman's desire for sex is completely absent or quite low. Her desire may have been quite strong a year back, but now nothing seems to get her in the mood. If she does agree for sex, it's mostly to please her husband. She herself does not have any desire for it nor does she enjoy the activity as a pleasurable one.
This is where husbands begin to question themselves. Why has my wife lost interest in sex? Am I the one responsible? Is there something that I am doing wrong? A healthy relationship and yet no sex life, why?
These are questions that often bother husbands of women over the age of 40. Although you as a husband may consider yourself as the primary cause of this problem in your wife, the truth is that you are probably not why she has lost interest in sex. So, when she says that 'it's not you, it's me', she is probably telling you the truth.
Let's have a look at some of the reasons why your wife may have lost interest in sex.
Why Women Lose Interest in Sex
The loss of interest in sex in women over the age of 40 could be due to any reason. These could be physiological or they could be psychological. It's very important to identify the cause behind the problem before you can successfully treat it and get your sex life back on track.
Illnesses, physical changes in the body, medications are only some of the reasons that can interfere in your sex life. If your wife suffers from any chronic medical conditions such as arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease, you may have found the cause behind her low sex drive.
Similarly, if she is on medications such as anti-depressants or anti-hypertensives, her desire for sex may be low because of these.
Surgeries such as to the breasts or the genital tract, may also be responsible for the problem. The removal of the ovaries can also send a woman into early menopause, a known killer of sexual desire.
Another thing that you should look for is whether she is experiencing pain during intercourse. If she is experiencing this pain, her inclination for sex will surely go down. Similarly, if she is not able to reach orgasm and the fact makes sex less pleasurable for her, it is time to find out the reason behind it.
There is a very clear relationship that has been noticed as far as female sex drive and age is concerned. Levels of the sex hormones, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone tend to decline with age in women. As the hormone production declines, the sex drive declines.
For example, estrogen maintains the health of the vaginal tissues and also the interest in sex, but as your wife nears menopause, the production of this hormone declines. This means that she will be facing problems such as vaginal dryness causing her to suffer pain during sex and will not be adequately aroused also.
Similarly, testosterone does not play a role only in your sexual health. It is important for your wife as well. In fact, this is a major hormone that is responsible for her desire for sex. The production of this hormone begins to decline after the age of 30 and in the 40s, it's really low.
Your wife may be simply stressed out. After years of taking care of you and the kids, looking after work and family, she may just have no interest in doing anything else, let alone having sex.
It is also possible that you may think that your relationship is quite strong, however, she may not feel emotionally close to you. For women, emotional closeness is important to desire sex, feel sexually aroused and reach orgasm. She may also be looking for more communication and more quality time with you.
How to Get Your Wife Interested in Sex
The first and foremost thing that you should do is open the lines of communication. Resolve any conflicts that may be brewing under the surface. Talk about what she likes and dislikes, especially with reference to sex.
Make intimacy and emotional connection as priority rather than sex. Taking a holiday or spending some quality time to do exactly that can help bring the spark back into your life.
Be open to sexual experimentation. Using sex toys, a different sexual position are only two of the things that you can try to spice up your sex life.
Getting her interested in exercising, helping her relax and be happy, and taking over some of her responsibilities may also do the trick.
Treatment for Low Sex Drive in Women
If nothing works, get her to a doctor. A physician may help diagnose an underlying medical condition and suggest solutions for it. He or she may also suggest the intake of natural libido enhancement supplements, estrogen therapy (in the form of pills, patches or gels to increase blood flow to the vaginal area), or testosterone therapy.